Not Your Typical BEA Post: A Confession

bea

Book Expo America. The place where every book lover dreams of coming. You get to meet authors, hang out with fellow bloggers and receive tons of books, some of which might be ARCs.

BEA is a book convention that I used to dream of visiting as well. Whenever I saw a BEA recap post, it always made me all giddy inside. Seeing fellow bloggers talked about how cool the authors were and showed the books they got — well, I admit that I did feel jealous because I don’t live in the US. At the beginning of my blogging years, BEA had become some kind of a goal in my bookish life.  It was like, “Someday, when I’m an adult, I will go to BEA. I have to go there.”

Tangled

Except, now I don’t feel it anymore. The desire is still there but it isn’t as passionate or demanding as it used to be. Sure, I still want to meet my favorite authors and my online friends. Besides, getting all those books sound great. (I like to expand my collection ><) But ever since I rediscovered my love for other interests, a lot of things has happened that eventually leads to this…whatever kind of stage I’m currently in.

In the end, I’m still trying to get back into my old reading habit. I don’t know what the future holds. Maybe one day I will be so eager to come to BEA again, but one thing I know right now is I’m probably the odd one out in this community. Reading BEA recaps makes me happy for you guys, but with all honesty, I don’t feel a strong urge to go there anymore. *hides from tomatoes*

Am I the only one who feels indifferent toward coming to BEA? Have you guys ever felt this way?

26 thoughts on “Not Your Typical BEA Post: A Confession”

  1. No, I can definitely relate to this. A year or two ago when I started blogging it seemed so huge and awesome and shiny and now it still seems great but I don’t have that I MUST GO THERE NOW feeling anymore either. Like you, I’ve also rediscovered my love for other things because reading like gaming and such so maybe that’s why? In any case, you aren’t the only one!
    Alise recently posted… ARC Review: Nowhere But Here by Katie McGarryMy Profile

    1. Yeah, the appeal must have been waning over time. Plus, I have priorities and getting to BEA is really expensive. Somehow, I’d rather do other stuff and stay at home than having to prepare for it ><

  2. I used to feel really excited for BEA, but that was about 2 years ago. This year, I’m just indifferent, like you! Except when I saw one particular book that I *really* want to read, only to realize that the author didn’t even attend… so I figured I could buy it when it releases. I mean, I love books and authors but I’m becoming more and more selective. Maybe it’s also of the financial factor too. I guess if I ever go to BEA, it’s really for the experience and networking (which I suck at lmao so for the former is truer).
    Tory recently posted… Review: The Archived, by Victoria SchwabMy Profile

    1. I agree about the financial factor, Tory. Since we live in Asia, it will be very expensive to get to the States and not to mention, the flight will be long and exhausting. I would love to be able to hang out with my bloggy friends but as much as I want to meet them, I don’t think going to BEA is much of a concern anymore ._.

  3. I never had the great desire to go to BEA. Sure, it sounds fantastic and all the books in there & fab author that I might meet but it’s not really an ultimate goal or even part of my bucket list. Even at earlier years of being a book blogger, I was always been indifferent about it. For cheapstake like me, going there and do all the shebangs just doesn’t worth it for me, realistically speaking (for books and the amount I need to earn and to spend on it, nah). But there’s nothing wrong for people who want to go there and have great time. It’s nice to hear their stories about how they had fab moment there. But personally, I’m not all too concern whether I’ll be able to go or not.

    (but even before, like when I was still a teen, seiyuu event is one of my goals~! :P)
    Mitchii G. recently posted… Me, my emotions, & these fictional characters.My Profile

    1. You made an excellent point, Mitchii. BEA would just be a huge expense and a burden to us financially. But I guess I was younger and was a huge dreamer so yeah hahaha xD But now I’m more mature and I’ve realized what’s really important and what’s not.

      Aww seiyuu event! It would be cool but I doubt they will held any in here *cries*

  4. BEA to me has always been a “one day when I’m backstroking in money” thing because I am a cheap sheep hohoho.

    I’ve always been excited when reading other people’s BEA experiences and I still feel happy for everyone but I don’t think it’s something I want to do anymore too. It feels like things are getting more loud and crazy in the conventions and I love that everyone’s enthusiastic but it also scares me 0_0 I don’t think I’m claustrophobic but I probably have a fear of getting squished and left for dead. The terrors of tiny people lol
    Ju @ Fictional Skylines recently posted… Review: A Little Something Different by Sandy HallMy Profile

    1. Lol, I can see where you’re coming from, Ju. I’m pretty short myself (only 155 cm!) and I just went to an anicon today and it was SO hard to move around due to my tiny body. I kept getting squished by random bigger people and cosplayers haha. BEA must be 10 times more crowded and I can’t imagine being in that much of a population within a small space hahaha.

  5. HINATA

    Awww but BEA is a lot of fun! Just kidding. I actually juggle A LOT of hobbies, and sadly anime is slowly becoming less appealing for me (MAKE IT STOP), so I understand that you’re not as excited for BEA anymore.

    BUT WHO KNOWS. MAYBE YOUR INTERESTS WILL CHANGE OVER THE YEARS 😀
    Valerie recently posted… BEA Recap: I’m No Longer a BEA VirginMy Profile

    1. YEAH!

      Our case is similar except mine is the other way around — reading is the one that I find harder to make myself do. Well, I just hope this is just a (long) random slump and a book will pull me out of this anime hole!

  6. I think that’s totally fine! People change hobbies/interests all the time. Before blogging I used to be really into manga and anime. I actually helped out as a manga scan cleaner for quite a while because I wanted the scans for a certain manga to get finished faster lol. And now I’m super into books. Who knows when/if I’ll move onto a completely different hobby and not really care about going to BEA either 🙂
    Stephanie@ThesePaperHearts recently posted… BEA 2015 and New York City RecapMy Profile

    1. Oh my god really? I never thought you used to be an otaku! xD But it’s really cool that you helped your scanlation! I wanna try joining a group (maybe as English-Indonesian translator but I know the job requires a strong commitment). You have a great point though, Stephanie! Interests change over time and we just need to live in the moment to enjoy the highlight of our hobbies 😀

  7. Ooh very interesting post! And don’t be sorry that your interests and excitement for things are changing, that’s totally cool! I, on the other hand, is still lusting over the idea of going to BEA one day, haha!

    Love your post, girl <33

    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Melanie! <33 I won't be sorry anymore. And it turns out that there are many other book lovers / bloggers out there who don't have a strong urge to come to BEA. 😀 But I genuinely hope you will be able to achieve that dream ^^

  8. Oh, no, I’m definitely with you on this. When I first started, it seemed so big and exciting and amazing, and every year I’d sit on the other side of the world while everyone was at BEA and I kept telling myself I’d go someday, but now the novelty’s kind of wearing off and I don’t really feel that way anymore. I’d still love to go, but it isn’t, like you said, as passionate or demanding. Maybe I’ve just gotten lazy (<- huge possibility) xD Plus, the cost of going makes it pretty unrealistic for me, I'm stingy as hell, and the thought of wading through all those crowds… Actually, I think I've just gotten older and cynical and way too lethargic for my own good ・(/Д`)・
    chri recently posted… Shuffle // SHISHAMOMy Profile

    1. Omg, same! I’m too lazy to go around and wait for the time they give out books >< It sounds like a very exhausting trip from everyone's posts! And not to mention -- the cost. Booking flights to the US and hotels and paying the entrance fee -- after much consideration I don't think I'd spend all my money solely on BEA...

  9. I think my excitement to go to BEA is slowly dying compared to how excited I was when I was a book blogger noob. I think this is because I get books from Edelweiss so it’s sort of like I’m in BEA except I don’t get to meet the authors 🙁 … But I think when I do plan on going to BEA, the excitement will come again 😀

    1. That’s so cool if you can get books from Edelweiss, Leigh! I think it’s also less tiring than if you’re actually going to BEA? Because of all the crowds and long queues xD

  10. This is exactly how I feel, too! I’d definitely still love to go to BEA one day, but this year, surprisingly, it never crossed my mind until I started seeing tweets and posts about people preparing for it. Previous years, I used to be filled with longing and jealousy when I saw all these bloggers writing about BEA, and wondering why why why I wasn’t born in the U.S. or something. But now… I just can’t care less, lol. It’s actually kind of embarrassing for me to admit, because I feel like as a book lover, I SHOULD feel excited, but I don’t. I suspect it’s my humongous tbr pile that’s making me feel guilty for wanting more books, though. 😛

    Like Mitchii said, too — going to BEA would be too expensive for me or my family to afford. Flight tickets alone are ridiculous, much less lodging and food and the BEA entrance fee! *O*
    Megan (ง︡’-‘︠)ง recently posted… Never Have I Ever: The Bookish Edition!My Profile

    1. “I feel like as a book lover, I SHOULD feel excited, but I don’t.”

      THAT’S IT. It’s partially why I was a bit hesitant about posting this confession, because I thought 99% of the community sees BEA as a must-visit event for every bookish people. I guess I’m wrong now hahaha. There are others who feel the same way.

  11. Huh, to think about it – I feel the same way. First year of blogging was me exploring the different perks and drawbacks [more of the first than the latter.] BEA seemed so cool and magical but now that I think about it, I don’t really want the stress and the waiting in line for books. I love the meeting bloggers part but idk if it’s worth it for me to be in such a crazy place.
    Nova @ Out of Time recently posted… The Find Me Book TagMy Profile

    1. Trueeee. The queue does sound extremely long since there’s gonna be TONS of people going to the convention. It’s gonna be a fun place to meet fellow book bloggers from other continents but alas, the cons aren’t worth it… ><

  12. I got so caught up in it this year, and seeing other PH bloggers made me really want to go. But at the same time, I don’t think I ever could. If I already hate the signings here for the crowds, how much more would I hate a crowd like for in BEA? :/

    1. Yeah, so many bloggers out of the North America continent coming to BEA this year! There are Rashika and Hazel and others I don’t know >< Gah, I know what you mean with the signings. I'm personally jealous because lots of authors come to PH regularly but the crowd omg. I heard one of you guys tweeted once that it was late at night and the signing hadn't finished yet.

  13. I have felt the very same about BEA, although I still would really love to go. I felt intensely passionate about it, just like you described, for the first year and a half after I heard of it, and with all the recaps each year (particularly this one) I’ve felt my longing be reborn, but I also recognise the fact I am unable to attend and I don’t think I’m quite ready to attend, although I really would love to one day. I think the crush of people, the stress and anxiety I would feel, in addition to the excitement and high emotions, are something I need to be in a really secure place to tackle, and… hopefully by the time I’m financially able to go to BEA I’ll feel more confident about it.

    Fantastic post, I really liked reading your thoughts on this. Your blog looks swell, too, and nice to meet you! Oh, and I love the font of your comments box. SO. Nice. Aah. I’m just loving it.
    Romi recently posted… The Potion Diaries by Amy Alward…My Profile

    1. Hi Romi! Thank you so much and it’s also nice to meet you! 😀

      Hmmm it’s true that we have to be mentally ready as well. With coming to BEA, we will receive books to read. While we are not obligated to read every thing, it’s great to have a sense of responsibility to try do our best to review them. I guess I’m not ready then because I have been slacking these past few months xD

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