A nerve-wracking yet exciting fresh start

I haven’t posted anything on the blog since June 23rd. How crazy is that? July went by in a flash and suddenly it’s already August and my long break will finally end exactly on next Tuesday.

Back then, I wondered how I was going to spend all these four months of doing nothing but the truth is, now I regret some of the things that I hadn’t done during the break. This is the end of everything we’ve known so far. Our last holiday together as we transition into the scary, unknown world called college. Some of my friends who go to private universities have already started their academic term, have already met new friends and people who are going to accompany them for the next 4 years of their life. They talk about intimidating upperclassmen, strict professors and hang out spots around their campus — things that I don’t understand at all. I’ve come to accept the fact that I won’t see them in a daily basis anymore but I’ve just realized just how different our lives will be after this. Continue reading A nerve-wracking yet exciting fresh start

An adventure to remember

Hello there! It’s been almost a month since I last posted on this blog. Shocking, I know! I thought I wouldn’t neglect it that long but things happened so yeah… I’m here now!

If you’re following me on Twitter or Snapchat, you might know that I went on a holiday with my friends on June 1st – 7th. We visited our friend’s hometown in Madiun — which is two or three hour train ride away from Surabaya — and went to nearby town called Sarangan as well. I’ve been to Sarangan once before but we didn’t stay there for very long so I didn’t have a chance to explore the town thoroughly. But this time, we rented a villa for three days and ended up doing all the things we wouldn’t be able to do in the city. Continue reading An adventure to remember

Back from the hole and feeling confused

Three days ago I finished the last exam of my high school life and three months of holiday is  waiting before me. And yeah, this means I will be able to read books, watch anime and blog again. Such a great news, yes?!

Unfortunately, I will just be straight to the point. You know, in the past few months, I kept promising that I would make it up this holiday. I said that I would be more active after national exams were done. The truth is, I find it really hard to write posts now. I know that I’m allowed to come back to my old blogging routine slowly but right now it feels like I’m trying to grip into thin air.

Back then, it was so easy. All I need to do was sit in front of my laptop and words and sentences would come so naturally. Now it’s taking forever just to express my thoughts. I have been brainstorming a few ideas but I have no clue how to put them into words. Is this how it supposed to feel? I mean I have been waiting for this time to come back from my hiatus and I’m really disappointed that it turns out like this.

I wonder how long this phase will last. I hope it’s almost the same like being in a school orientation, in which everything seems alien at first. But one day, it will be a routine I most look forward to.

What do you think about my problem? Have you ever felt like this before? Do you have any tips for me?

All I want for Christmas is …

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Sneak peek for my yearbook photos!! xD

It’s still a little too early to say ‘Merry Christmas’ but hey, it’s definitely not too early to start planning on how to spend the holiday 😉

A little recap

Unlike the previous years, we have to continue our lessons because we twelfth graders still have a lot of topics to catch up to. And everything seems to be worse since I take science program haha. Much to my disappointment, I can’t relax as much as I would like to but yeah, so far this is better than nothing. Other than that, there’s also religion practical examination — our very first practical examination — which is doing charity. Continue reading All I want for Christmas is …

Maybe it’s time for miracles

oceanOctober starts to run out of days and so is the year 2015. Only two full months are left, but with the end of the year comes one of the most dreaded things for students: final exams.

I have done nothing but studying for the past few weeks, made a lot of sacrifices in order to prepare for my current exams, tried to get more sleep for a maximum result but did I get what I was working for? I don’t know, I just took the test today, and somehow my confidence is sinking each second. People say you will be happier once you stop caring but it’s a whole different story for me, who has always cared too much.

Things are harder at school this term. I never really needed to make all these sacrifices before. If I had a science test on Monday, I would spend the Saturday relaxing and do what I like instead of revising for my next exam like what I have been doing this term. (Ironically, I used to get much better marks compared to my physics and math midterm last month.)

Sometimes I wonder when I will stop fearing. I wonder when I will be able to write my answers in full confidence like I used to. It’s hard being in the spotlight, especially when you have to live up to people’s expectation and meet the standards you give for yourself.

I hope next time will be better. (Though I could use some miracles right now.)